Skip to content

Parenting Pre-School boys

February 12, 2013

A previous post explored the purpose of parenting and in this discussion, I want to suggest a few ways we are trying to intentionally help our son (soon to be 5 years old).

  • Gospel-Powered parenting – we recently read through a reasonably helpful book by William P Farley on this topic. The specific reason I found the book helpful was the constant reminder to help children understand the “full” Gospel, especially in discipline. Namely, each person is a sinner, God hates sin, punishing sin is both required and loving, that God sent Jesus to take the punishment for our sin and that God forgives sin when we confess to Him. While a pre-school child can certainly understand the core of the Gospel message and genuinely accept Jesus into his/her heart, going through this review of the Gospel sometimes seems a time-wasting exercise. Cognitively, children learn through repetition and so even if at times it seems futile, I believe it is wise and randomly, you get a response that indicates the information is connecting.
  • For all children, yet perhaps for boys more than girls, it is important to differentiate between disobedience and carelessness (or thoughtlessness). Sometimes, you shake your head wondering how he thought that would actually work out well or not result in an injury! But, its not a sin, its just childish and that needs to be explained (and maybe comforted) but not disciplined.
  • Tell your son “I love you, I’m proud of you, and [this is why]” – One of the great highlights of serving as Christian Education Co-ordinator at Prairie Christian Academy was the grade 12 Father-Son event where a soon-t0-be high school guy would hear various friends, coaches, or teachers say how they appreciated the young man. Finally, his father would express his appreciation and say the words “I love you, I’m proud of you, and I see God leading you to…” As I prepared for that event, I researched what is important for a boy to hear from a dad and I’ve started to say these things now to my son, usually every night as I tuck him into bed (which is about 5 out of 7 nights a week). Every once in a while I forget – or remember the next day – and so I’ve tried to make time fairly shortly after the commendable action to take the time to verbalize the action for which I’m proud.
  • Verbally & physically show your son how to treat females – Again, this doesn’t have to be very intentional because he will “get infected” either positively or negatively by your actions, whether you mean it to happen or not. However, I am trying to be especially strong with my son right now as a pre-schooler in the areas of not pushing, hitting (back) his sisters or being verbally rude or aggressive. He is/will be big for his age and so we are trying to help him learn control of his size now. Whereas some sins will get a “Son, is that how you are expected to act/talk?” warning, this one gets a trip to the bedroom for a chat/spank immediately right now.

We are blessed with a fairly sensitive son. He generally speaks very affectionately to his sisters, and happily kisses all of the girls (mom, two sisters & two “homestay” girls) before going to bed at night. He is actually quite a cuddly boy and likes snuggle with his mom or be tickled, which is good because his dad cannot really wrestle with him like most fathers. After doing something wrong or breaking something by accident, he has been known to come and tell us before we find out.

Again, I welcome your questions, comments, advice & suggestions!

Advertisements

From → General

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: